Mustard seeds and 9/11

Early in my experience with Soto Zen Buddhism, I heard a story about a woman who went to the Buddha after her child died. She asked him to bring her child back. He told the woman that he would indeed bring her child back to life, but she had to do something first. She had to get one tiny little mustard seed and bring it to the Buddha. However, this mustard seed had to come from a household that did not know pain, suffering, or loss.

She headed out to find this household and get that mustard seed so she could get her child back. Before long, she realized that she was not going to find a household that did not know pain, suffering, or loss and would therefore not get her mustard seed. The Buddha’s lesson dawned on her. She ended her search for the mustard seed and went on with her life.

I certainly don’t think that this story can make anyone feel better about feeling pain, but it does illustrate the First Noble Truth; to live means to suffer.

I have known something about myself for most of my life—I can be oversensitive at times. Seeing pain and suffering around me comes easily. I reflect on the story of the woman with the Buddha, but also on the other three Noble Truths (the origin of suffering is attachment, the cessation of suffering is attainable, following the Eighfold Path is the way to end suffering).

This is all in the forefront of my life now that we’re approaching the 10th anniversary of September 11. Certainly, this was the most horrible day of my life and the lives of countless others. My heart gets heavy when I see and hear reminders of this event.

I find myself asking, “Why?” Why does there have to be such pain? Why does there have to be such hate? My heart breaks when I think of the people who were doing things I do all the time (going to work, flying on a plane, etc.) and they simply did not live to see the end of the day.

Because to live means to suffer.

Death causes pain because of our attachment to life. I am not saying that we should not respect the gift that is life, but that perhaps clinging to it too tightly can make separating from it worse than it could be. It does not help that we truly do not know what happens after death. Is there a heaven? Is there nothing? We do not know (and we never will). Oops – that “need to know” is an example of more clinging!

So. How does one deal with all the pain? I need to reflect on this now more than usual so I can handle this terrible anniversary and remain intact. I could start by living in the moment. Just now, nothing else. I can appreciate the gift of life and remember that it is certainly a temporary state. (“…we’re only immortal for a limited time.” ~ Rush, Dreamline)

I can also pray for peace. I can be an example of non-hatred toward Muslims (9/11 was not a Muslim act despite opinions otherwise). I can remember those who were lost. I can live my life, not allowing this or any other event to move me from my chosen path. We all know pain, suffering, and loss. We are all one.