As I drove to work this morning (Friday), I played one of the CDs I burned when I got my new car last year (before I got my iPod hooked up to my car stereo). One of the songs that started to play was The Pass by Rush -- one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands. After the first four notes, I immediately turned off the stereo. The Pass is about suicide, and it's just too soon after Sunday's tragedy to listen to that song.
If there's anything that I would like to come of this, it's more awareness of depression and suicide. I do not know Anthony's story, but I do know that depression is both treatable... and potentially fatal.
Do me a favor? If you know someone who is depressed or has mentioned harming themselves, DO SOMETHING.
Don't know what do to? Check out SAVE - Suicide Awareness Voices of Education at http://www.save.org/.
Better yet, if the person says s/he is going to commit suicide, call 911 before the person succeeds (or even attempts). Just do it!
You have a choice - feel "awkward" about intervening, or feel unbearable guilt and horror if you do nothing... and the person dies.
If you are depressed, see your doctor now. You can get help. There is always hope - trust me on this. There is someone who cares about you... me!
My deepest condolences to Anthony's family and friends. Peace be with us all.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Sadness
A terrible thing happened last Sunday. The Husband was Up North fishing with The Guys for the whole weekend, so I took advantage of the situation to visit the Mall of America.
I bought a pair of shoes and a tank top for the upcoming trip to Mexico, watched a cheerleading competition, and shared some love with a couple of special needs dogs (and one cat) who were at the Mall for fundraising. I also treated myself to lunch. All in all, it was a quality outing.
Until I left to go home.
I parked in Maine on the ground level, east side. I walked out the entrance and as I was about to cross the street to get into the parking ramp, I caught something out of the corner of my eye in mid-air... then I heard a strange clap-like sound. I looked toward the sound and saw a guy laying on the street on his back.
My first thought was stupid. I wanted to yell at this guy, "You're going to get run over if you lay on the street like that!" A split second later, I realized he needed help. People were shouting, "Call 911!" so I dropped my bags to dig for my phone in my purse.
When I saw that others were already calling 911, I ran to the guy on the street. I had taken first aid classes and naively thought that I might be able to help him.
There was nothing I could do.
I called out to no one in particular, "He needs help NOW!" but I knew it did not look good. I will spare you the details, but it simply was the worst sight I have ever seen. The emergency personnel and Bloomington Police did not take long to cover him with a sheet.
A mall security officer was with me after I yelled for help. At that point, I lost it. I knew he was gone and that I had seen his last moment. I cried and cried. The mall security officer took time to stay with me and the other witness to get our statements and to help us deal with what we had just seen. I gave my name, phone number and address, and had a hard time writing a description of the event as I cried and shook uncontrollably.
The security officer and a police officer did what they could to help me calm down. They reassured me that I did the right thing by going to him and by staying to make a witness statement. They were sympathetic and kind.
I didn't think I would blog about this. I was a quivering mess for the rest of the day, and had flashbacks throughout the next day (Monday). Back at the mall, after I finished my statement, the mall security officer helped me back into the mall. I knew I was in no shape to drive myself home. The Mall of America security had closed off this entrance and a small group of people were questioning why they couldn't go out the door of their choice. Some people saw trembling, sobbing me enter with the security officer and seemed to back away, finally realizing that perhaps the MoA officials closed the entrance for a real reason (and not just to inconvenience shoppers). One lady insisted on complaining to a security officer and as I passed near her I told her that she really did not want to exit this way. I did not tell her why because she had two young boys with her -- they didn't need to know.
I called my parents on my cell and told my dad what happened. I asked if he could come get me and bring me home. My parents came to get me -- my dad drove my car and my mom took me in their car. At my house, we went straight for the brandy. Dad said it would help. It did. So did the wine. Anything to deaden the nerves.
The next day I arrived at work around 7:10 am. I thought that it would be a good thing to dive into my projects so I could keep my mind off the previous day's events. It didn't work. Out of the blue I would see his face again, or hear that awful sound... Sometimes I would just shutter.
Finally, I called my employer's employee assistance program. I knew that what I was going through was normal -- I had just experienced a trauma and it seemed normal that I go through some sort of reaction. I just wanted to be reassured of this, and if there was anything I could do about it, I wanted to know. I also was trying to figure out how to get closure for myself. I thought that if I knew the man's name, I could grieve for a specific person, rather than "guy at the mall."
The employee assistance counselor was very helpful and sympathetic. She explained what I could possibly expect, given my situation, and that what I was experiencing was indeed very normal. I told her of my desire to know his name to help myself close this out, and she advised that I may need to find closure even if I cannot learn his identity. She offered to call back to check on me later and to give me the name of a therapist in my area, should I decide to see one.
I also called Bloomington Police to see if they were able to tell me his name. If they were not able to, I would understand, but I explained that I was hoping that his name would help me "bury" him in my mind so I could go on with my life. The sergeant with whom I spoke was very understanding, and told me the guy's name, even though it was not public information (yet). I asked if his family knew of his death, and the sergeant said that they were informed. He also thanked me for my witness statement.
It's been three days now, and I am getting past this. I did, however, drive past the MoA for the first time since Sunday on my way to meet friends for a drink after work. My heart ached for the young man who was in so much pain that he lost all hope.
Rest in peace, Anthony.
Man leaps to death at megamall ramp
Pioneer Press Article Last Updated: 01/08/2008 11:17:11 PM CST
The Hennepin County medical examiner has released the name of the man who plunged from the sixth floor of a parking ramp at the Mall of America to the street below.
Authorities say 23-year-old Anthony S. Leandro, of Burnsville, died Sunday of multiple blunt force head injuries. His body was found on the road next to the east side of the shopping mall.
His death was ruled a suicide.
- Associated Press
I bought a pair of shoes and a tank top for the upcoming trip to Mexico, watched a cheerleading competition, and shared some love with a couple of special needs dogs (and one cat) who were at the Mall for fundraising. I also treated myself to lunch. All in all, it was a quality outing.
Until I left to go home.
I parked in Maine on the ground level, east side. I walked out the entrance and as I was about to cross the street to get into the parking ramp, I caught something out of the corner of my eye in mid-air... then I heard a strange clap-like sound. I looked toward the sound and saw a guy laying on the street on his back.
My first thought was stupid. I wanted to yell at this guy, "You're going to get run over if you lay on the street like that!" A split second later, I realized he needed help. People were shouting, "Call 911!" so I dropped my bags to dig for my phone in my purse.
When I saw that others were already calling 911, I ran to the guy on the street. I had taken first aid classes and naively thought that I might be able to help him.
There was nothing I could do.
I called out to no one in particular, "He needs help NOW!" but I knew it did not look good. I will spare you the details, but it simply was the worst sight I have ever seen. The emergency personnel and Bloomington Police did not take long to cover him with a sheet.
A mall security officer was with me after I yelled for help. At that point, I lost it. I knew he was gone and that I had seen his last moment. I cried and cried. The mall security officer took time to stay with me and the other witness to get our statements and to help us deal with what we had just seen. I gave my name, phone number and address, and had a hard time writing a description of the event as I cried and shook uncontrollably.
The security officer and a police officer did what they could to help me calm down. They reassured me that I did the right thing by going to him and by staying to make a witness statement. They were sympathetic and kind.
I didn't think I would blog about this. I was a quivering mess for the rest of the day, and had flashbacks throughout the next day (Monday). Back at the mall, after I finished my statement, the mall security officer helped me back into the mall. I knew I was in no shape to drive myself home. The Mall of America security had closed off this entrance and a small group of people were questioning why they couldn't go out the door of their choice. Some people saw trembling, sobbing me enter with the security officer and seemed to back away, finally realizing that perhaps the MoA officials closed the entrance for a real reason (and not just to inconvenience shoppers). One lady insisted on complaining to a security officer and as I passed near her I told her that she really did not want to exit this way. I did not tell her why because she had two young boys with her -- they didn't need to know.
I called my parents on my cell and told my dad what happened. I asked if he could come get me and bring me home. My parents came to get me -- my dad drove my car and my mom took me in their car. At my house, we went straight for the brandy. Dad said it would help. It did. So did the wine. Anything to deaden the nerves.
The next day I arrived at work around 7:10 am. I thought that it would be a good thing to dive into my projects so I could keep my mind off the previous day's events. It didn't work. Out of the blue I would see his face again, or hear that awful sound... Sometimes I would just shutter.
Finally, I called my employer's employee assistance program. I knew that what I was going through was normal -- I had just experienced a trauma and it seemed normal that I go through some sort of reaction. I just wanted to be reassured of this, and if there was anything I could do about it, I wanted to know. I also was trying to figure out how to get closure for myself. I thought that if I knew the man's name, I could grieve for a specific person, rather than "guy at the mall."
The employee assistance counselor was very helpful and sympathetic. She explained what I could possibly expect, given my situation, and that what I was experiencing was indeed very normal. I told her of my desire to know his name to help myself close this out, and she advised that I may need to find closure even if I cannot learn his identity. She offered to call back to check on me later and to give me the name of a therapist in my area, should I decide to see one.
I also called Bloomington Police to see if they were able to tell me his name. If they were not able to, I would understand, but I explained that I was hoping that his name would help me "bury" him in my mind so I could go on with my life. The sergeant with whom I spoke was very understanding, and told me the guy's name, even though it was not public information (yet). I asked if his family knew of his death, and the sergeant said that they were informed. He also thanked me for my witness statement.
It's been three days now, and I am getting past this. I did, however, drive past the MoA for the first time since Sunday on my way to meet friends for a drink after work. My heart ached for the young man who was in so much pain that he lost all hope.
Rest in peace, Anthony.
Man leaps to death at megamall ramp
Pioneer Press Article Last Updated: 01/08/2008 11:17:11 PM CST
The Hennepin County medical examiner has released the name of the man who plunged from the sixth floor of a parking ramp at the Mall of America to the street below.
Authorities say 23-year-old Anthony S. Leandro, of Burnsville, died Sunday of multiple blunt force head injuries. His body was found on the road next to the east side of the shopping mall.
His death was ruled a suicide.
- Associated Press
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