I never knew love like this before

I love animals. Always have. I have been primarily a cat person all of my life, but about ten years ago, something changed. Oh, I still love cats and I don’t think I’ll ever not have at least one cat with me for the rest of my life. But ten years ago The Husband and I went to a local humane society and got ourselves a puppy. We learned of this puppy through petfinder.com, a great way to find your next best friend.


If you’ve read this blog, you probably know about Pepper. I admit I was nervous – I had never owned a dog before. I knew they were more work than cats. I knew I had a lot to learn. I wasn’t sure how to get the dog to let me know when he needs to go outside (turns out you just let the dog out and he’ll take care of business – at least that’s how it is with Pep).

When Pepper was young, I learned that we needed to keep plenty of appropriate things for him to chew on handy. Our living room coffee table is not one of those appropriate things, but the teeth marks are still there. Fortunately, that was the worst damage we’ve had from his puppy years. We crate-trained him, took him to Puppy Kindergarten, lost him many times in the woods behind our house, and got him to sit, stay, come, and lay down.

He gained ten pounds a month for six months. His first bath was in one of the kitchen sinks. His second bath was in both kitchen sinks. He quickly moved up to the bathtub. He has been around 80 pounds for most of his life – a perfect weight for his body.

As Pepper got older, we all got into a routine: walks, park visits, the occasional hike, visiting his human grandparents (he gets excited when he hears the words “grandma” and “grandpa”), and playing with his girlfriend, Suzy.

When Pepper turned seven years old, I told him that I wanted another seven years. He seemed to understand. (Okay, no he didn’t. I just want to think he did.) The point is that I was realizing that he was aging, and that dogs don’t live as long as we may want them to. By this time I had grown quite attached to this beautiful creature living with me. The bond we formed together surprised me. I knew I would like having a dog, but I am blown away by how much he matters to me.

I am his Mama. When he gets hurt, he goes to his Mama. I have bandaged him, taken thorns out of his paws, washed him when he had a run-in with a skunk, and cuddled him when he needed love. The Husband (aka Daddy) is the main playmate, but I am the main caregiver.

He has changed my life. Profoundly.

I see love in his gorgeous brown eyes. I see love when he thwaps his tail on the floor when I approach him, as if to say, “Snuggle with me, Mama.” (How can I resist?)

He’s almost ten and a half years old. That makes him an old dog – about 75 years old in human terms. And, for a little over a year, he has been dealing with anxiety and the occasional panic attack. It breaks my heart to see him panting, pacing, and lost. We’ve brought him to the vet, got him on medications (daily and as needed), and got him a Thundershirt to give him some support when he’s feeling shaky.

I would do anything to take his anxiety away. I’d gladly take it on myself. I get angry at flies and mosquitoes for having the nerve to bother my baby – I certainly don’t want my sweetie bothered by any unease or discomfort from within his own body.

He still has more good moments than not-so-good. When he’s outside, he romps and sniffs and plays like usual, although perhaps a little more slowly than he used to. He loves his yew bushes. He walks into the bushes and gets a coniferous massage and back scratching.

The Husband and I do what we’ve got to do to keep Pepper happy (or at least okay). He is so incredibly worth it. That love in his eyes makes it easy to want to do anything and everything for him.

He’s my baby. I love my Pepper Dog!